Entering His World

We go on a lot of walks, partly because they fill many of Bug's sensory needs and help wind down his three-year-old energy. I have plenty of my own reasons for going on a trip around the neighborhood, though. All too often I feel trapped after being in the house for a few days straight, or worse, I feel like I will snap at the next scream, whine, or outburst (I clearly have a long way to go with patience and long-suffering). So, I get the kids all ready to go on a walk, many times with one or both of them crying, and we leave the house to let off some steam.

One day last week, we went on a walk just for the sake of going on a walk - I hadn't reached my breaking point, the boys weren't getting antsy, it was just a nice morning. That walk was such a different experience than most of the others we've taken.

Because I wasn't focused on something negative, I was able to see why walks are so good for Bug. His sensory system often switches between two extremes: he's either completely underwhelmed due to hypersensitivity, so he gets narrowly focused on one sensation (like hopping around the house); or, there is too much sensory "noise" around him, so he goes into a meltdown because he can't cope. I finally saw how a walk is a perfect match to his sensory needs.

Our walk was filled with gentle, soothing sensory "noise": a cool, low breeze; the sounds of birds, rustling leaves, sprinklers, and so on; smells of cut grass and flowers; and the consistent feeling of light work in the muscles through walking itself. I found myself with a clearer mind than I had in days, and I realized that must be what walks do for Bug, but to a greater degree. If my mind can so easily get off-track due to the uneven sensory input it experiences day-to-day, how much worse must it be for him? How much harder must it be for him to think clearly and make sense of the world when his senses are in some ways over sensitive to average input, and in other ways under sensitive?

I realized I don't take the time to think outside of my normal and try to see the world through Bug's eyes nearly as much as I should. I realized a lot of my frustration stems from trying to get him to see things my way, when that is often simply impossible for him. Yes, there are times when he's being a three-year-old and our ideas of fun or important simply don't match up; but there are other times when I'm so focused on what I want that I overlook what Bug needs. I realized I'm happier when I try seeing the world through his eyes, because in this relationship we have to meet each other halfway and find common ground. Bug is doing a wonderful job following our encouragement to step out of his comfort zone and meet us at the halfway point every single day, so I need to follow his example and do the same.

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